B-Grade Gems: Zombie Cult Massacre

Zombie Cult Massacre - 1998 - USA - Zombie/Splatter

Zombie Cult Massacre bears the dreaded Sub Rosa Studios stamp. For those of who don't know, Sub Rosa is a company that releases the most micro budget, Z-grade backyard schlock available on compact disc. The majority of films I see by this company stink to high heaven, but i sift through them here and there to find the rare "diamonds in the rough". Zombie Cult Massacre is one of these.

I am going to make one thing perfectly clear if I haven't already: Zombie Cult Massacre isn't even CLOSE to being a well made film. The picture quality is terrible, specks of dust and dirt on the lens are clearly visible multiple times and scenes are often blown out and overexposed, and at times you can even spot the shadow of the cameraman. The acting is predictably horrific, and the sound levels are all over the place. There's also a good deal of terrible CGI effects thrown in as well, most of which evoke a chuckle. This may sound pretty unappealing to many, but this steaming pile of shit manages to entertain heavily despite its long list of setbacks.

This film is loaded with absurdity. First off it revolves around a maniacal, drug addled religious cult hell bent on brain washing its inhabitants, fighting off hordes of zombies and biker gangs, and letting mad scientists do wacko experiments in some sort of torture dungeon. The cult is led by a total alcoholic weirdo named Jeffrey, who preaches insane garbage and sleeps with almost every damn broad in the film. ("You have been chosen to receive my seed!") To top it off he even sings a cringe worthy song backed by his all-cult rock band about how "damn evil" he is.

Zombie Cult Massacre is chock full of blood and boobs. Within the first 5 minutes of the film a shotgun toting blond fights off zombies and eventually gets both of her laughably enormous and blatantly fake prosthetic tits ripped off. The gore and decapitations don't really start to pick up until the last half an hour or so, but when it does its relentless, and often coupled with a heavy metal score!

The drug sequences in ZCM are also particularly hilarious. Whatever kind of wacky shit they shoot up transports them to a hallucinatory hellish dimension, coupled with god awful green screened dungeon scenery and a smack talking, booze guzzling devil with silly man tits. "You a little tense? Well I guess your allowed, I mean, I am the fuckin' devil right!?"

Keep in mind, Zombie Cult Massacre is a Z movie, not a B movie. The vast majority of normal movie watchers won't enjoy this film, but if your a weirdo like myself who loves to laugh at and bathe in the ridiculousness of steaming piles of shit like this, you may find yourself enjoying it a good deal! Great flick to watch with a like minded buddy.

Ive been in possession of this DVD for many years. Apparently its out of print now and goes for a good deal of money on Amazon, perhaps you'll be able to find it for cheaper elsewhere. Here it is on Amazon if your willing to fork out the cash for it - ZCM DVD

Plot - 8/10
Acting - 3/10
Picture - 2/10
Action - 7.5/10
Blood n' Guts - 8/10
Cheese - 9/10
OVERALL - 8/10

Chest damage!