Stone Cold

Stone Cold - 1991 - Action/Exploitation

Within the first 60 seconds of watching Stone Cold I knew I was in for something special.  It opens with a supermarket holdup scene similar to that of Cobra (a personal favorite action flick of mine), introducing our star, former pro football player Brian "The Boz" Bosworth.  This is his first feature length film of his acting career, and he appears on the screen with a gloriously awful leather jacket and mullet to end all mullets, he proceeds to whoop all asses in sight and deliver some cringe-worthy one liners... and it's all ridiculousness from then on.

 This is a biker movie of epic proportions.  Brian Bosworth is employed by the FBI to infiltrate and dismantle a nasty, Nazi biker gang, headed  by Lance Henriksen of Pumpkinhead and Aliens fame, accompanied by a young William Forsythe, playing his usual entertaining and overacted "insane/unstable bad guy" role.  Their biker compound is filled with over the top tough guys and high caliber ladies showing their tits, looks like a real party.  As for a plot beyond that, don't expect much.

One of this film's most redeeming values is its level of exaggerated masculinity and mile high testosterone levels, an aspect that I find essential for a good cheesy action flick.  Bosworth's character almost seems to try a little too hard to seem tough at times, accompanied with his ridiculous outfits and awful mullet it's pretty hard to take seriously.  Henriksen's character is particularly badass however, he is more soft spoken and subtle than the rest of the rowdy biker gang.  This film is certainly not lacking badassery, even though some of it seems a little ham-handed.

The violence level in this one isn't particularly high, there certainly a decent body count and some good kills, but until the last act its not as faced paced as one would expect. 

Oh yeah, but there's explosions.  Everything that looks like it could explode, most likely will.  Never gets old if you ask me.
Anyways, I was quite happy with this absurd little film, certainly got some good laughs out of it and wouldn't hesitate recommending it to those who enjoy a big block of cheese with their action flicks.  Give it a watch


Plot - 3/10
Blood n' Guts - 2.5/10
Action - 7/10
Cheese - 8.5/10
OVERALL - 7.5/10

You can get the DVD here:  Stone Cold DVD

William Forsythe plays William Tell with beer

William Forythe returns fire

Bosworth plays with his pet reptile....

Henriksen looking cool, The Boz looking hilarious.

explosions, explosions, and more explosions!